Dont jokes
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
I don't know, I don't have one.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.