Dont jokes
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”