Dont jokes
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-