Donation jokes

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?

campaign contribution to the Republican Party.

Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.

What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.

There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."

Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."

Priest, "How so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."

Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"

Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."

Then Matt walks out the door.

Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,

"Thank you for your donation!"

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?

Because he saved 200 computers!

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.