Dog Jokes

when my dog barks he gets ruff

billie: hi

me: you wanna hear a story?

billie: yes sure

me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.

I have two things i wanna say: 1. when ppl swear stop taking it so fucking literally. if someone calls u a bitch, they're not calling u a female dog. if they call u a cunt, they're not calling u a woman's private part, they r calling u either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby or something along those lines. ffs 2. wtf

What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?

A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴

why do dogs like skeletons : cuz there boneheads

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up dog?"

Nothin much, how bout you?

What did the Female dog say to the mirror?Hi Bitch

I felt bad for a dog and u look yo my left and the was a orthin and I said I will make you a web site and I said there won't me a homepage

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog? Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devestated with no glee

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

Why can't you have a tall dog... You will have pup's in a week

What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time bone appetit

A dog found a bone then he was walking happily across to street and he saw a bridge he dicided to walk on the bridge he saw his reflection and thought It was another dog then he barked at him and the bone fell in the river the dog said what a fool I have been and walked away