Dog jokes
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Toby Fox.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
What has a dog?
People.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.