Dog jokes
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”