Dog jokes

I named my dog Chicken.

I love eating chicken.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.

Yeah, it was a shih tzu.

Squirrel: I got a joke.

Dog: What the hell is it?

Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?

Jurassic Bark!

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?

Redd Foxx.