Dog jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."