Dog jokes

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.

Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?

A: Because it tasted like shit.

What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?

I don't know... I'm from China.

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull in a children's play area.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

Why is a rap boat like a dog?

They both get off sniffing assholes.

Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

Dog.