DOE jokes
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys?
Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.