DOE jokes

Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

A. Has an abortion.

What do you call a pig who does karate?

Pork chop!

Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

The orca Don-tist.

Why does a woodpecker have a beak?

So as to not smash his head against the tree.

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snowbank.

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

Where does the resistor go after a long day?

It goes Ohm.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?

Nemo goes back to his father.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?

Sells the wheelchair.

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?

3 shots.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.