DOE jokes
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work.
Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words.
ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone.
Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too.
Watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression.
These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.