DOE jokes
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.