DOE jokes
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
Memes
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!