DOE jokes

Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?

Because it never runs out of juice.

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

What does a broken down vegetable say?

I need new wheels.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

What does a zebra and I have in common?

We both have stripes.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?

He likes to hit small white balls.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?

Answer: They both hang.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?

Answer: A home.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.