DOE jokes
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”