DOE jokes
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
is water wet? or does water make stuff wet
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.