DOE jokes
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
Memes
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.