What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
DOE Jokes
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
