DOE jokes
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why does this always happen to me...
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.