How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
DOE Jokes
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
