DOE jokes
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.