DOE jokes
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.