DOE jokes
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
Memes
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.