DOE jokes
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. š
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Does that dick match that forehead? š
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldnāt go straight.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.