DOE jokes
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
What movie does an orphan hate?
"Spider-Man: Far From Home."
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Proof that Heroin Monkey is OPAL
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.