DOE jokes
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
What movie does an orphan hate?
"Spider-Man: Far From Home."
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.