DOE jokes
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
DOGE POKÉMON CARD!!!
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?
"Eye torture!"
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.