DOE jokes
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."