DOE jokes
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Pokémon
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...