DOE jokes
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Memes
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"