DOE jokes
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?
I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.