DOE jokes
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.