DOE jokes
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!