DOE jokes
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
How does a rapper like their coffee?
With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.