DOE jokes

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?

Random couple after their first night:

Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?

Wife: ☠️

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they can't change anything.

What do the initials FEMA stand for?

Federal Erection Management Agency.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

An irrel-elephant ;)

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?

A: Because they can't find home.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.