My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
DOE Jokes
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
