DOE jokes
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-