DOE jokes
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.