DOE jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.