DOE jokes
What does a gay horse eat?
Heyyy!
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.