DOE jokes
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".