DOE jokes
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.