DOE jokes
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
If I die, does my depression die with me?
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What do people use more than you that is yours?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.