DOE jokes
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
If I die, does my depression die with me?
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What do people use more than you that is yours?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.