DOE jokes
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."