DOE jokes

Test

  • I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

  • 8
  • Orphanage

  • What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

    Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

  • 1
  • Grandpa

  • My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

    Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

    "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

  • 1
  • Hell

  • A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.

    Demon: Why you sad?

    Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?

    Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.

    Guy: Really? Nice.

    Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.

    Guy: OoOoOo

    Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️

    Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?

    Demon: No, you're not a ghost.

    Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

    Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜

    Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?

    Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?

    Demon: Yup.

    Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?

    Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

    Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.

    Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

    Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.

  • 1
  • Church

  • What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

    They're both full of child groomers.