DOE jokes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.