DOE jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What meme does an Emo hate the most?
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Does this sentence make any sense?
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.