DOE jokes
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.