DOE jokes
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? βYouβre the ying to my yang!β
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.