DOE jokes
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Why does this exist?
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.