Disease jokes
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
He's in a wheelchair.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.