Disease jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Grandma, I canβt believe I have Alzheimerβs.
One second later, Well at least I donβt have Alzheimerβs.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because sheβs stupid.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.