Disease jokes

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.

Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.

"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END

Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

My friend has ligma...

Lick ma balls!

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?

'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.

Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...

"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

What did Omnicron say to Delta?

"Same race, bud, different evolution."

"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.

What is mad cow disease?