Disease jokes
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
I hate school
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.