Disease jokes

Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?

'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

My friend has ligma...

Lick ma balls!

Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...

"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.

My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.

What can you catch, but not throw?

What did Omnicron say to Delta?

"Same race, bud, different evolution."

"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

What is mad cow disease?

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.

What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.