Disease jokes
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Memes
I hate school
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What can you catch, but not throw?
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What is mad cow disease?
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.