Disease jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
Memes
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.