Disease jokes

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?

That it will never get old.

Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.

What's the difference between cancer and me?

My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.

Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?

Well..... neither has he.

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?

Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye

Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.

If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!

I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018

A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.

Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.

Light it up blue 🔵

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.