Disease jokes

How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?

"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."

Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Why do cheetahs have spots?

Chickenpox!

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?

Dribble.

What’s the most common name for cancer patients?

Luke (leukemia)

If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What did the doctor say to the orphan?

"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"

Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.

They never get old.

You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?

That it will never get old.

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.

What's the difference between cancer and me?

My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.

Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.

Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?

Well..... neither has he.

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"