Disease jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
Cancer HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.