Disease jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"