Disease jokes
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)