Disease jokes
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.