Disease jokes
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
I have it.
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!