Disease jokes
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
Why are people joking about this stuff?
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
Me after hearing
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.