Disease jokes

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why was the leper hockey game canceled?

It was because of a face-off in the corner.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.