Disease jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.