Disease jokes
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!