Disease jokes

What's the difference between herpes and my dad?

Herpes stays around.

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.

I hate salmonella.

It is such a pain in the butt.

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.

What is mad cow disease?

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?

Borderline Personality Disorder.

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.

My mom told me to be positive...

I was heading to an HIV test.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.