Disease jokes
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
Stop joking with cancer.
- From a survivor :)
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.