Disease jokes

How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?

You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

Stop joking with cancer.

- From a survivor :)

What is long and not hairy?

The conga line in the cancer department.

Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.

"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

What does a bird say when it gets sick?

I flu!

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

What’s ten feet long and bald?

The conga line in the cancer ward.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My father didn’t beat cancer.