So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
Disease Jokes
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.
You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.
Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"
You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?
Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
