Disease jokes
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!