What has kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common? They will never grow up.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
ligma is a disease so does that mean ligma balls
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
TDS? More like STDs.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
God creates a wasp :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay... a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird.. but okay... God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: *shook* o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin* Angel: *cries* Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
Q: you have problems, i think your disease is BOOFA Q: What boofa ? A: boofa deez nuts in yo mouth
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
How do you die from alzheimers? You forget how to breath.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
