Disease jokes
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.