Discomfort jokes

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?

A mega-sore-ass.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

I hate family reunions.

I see too many of my ex's there.

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

Ahhhhhhh!

My bum hurts.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!

Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.