Disaster jokes
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
What flavor of pizza did the Twin Towers order?...
Plane.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."