Disaster

Disaster jokes

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Iceberg: You may know me.

Titanic: You are a sucker.

Iceberg: You hit me.

Titanic: Moron.

Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!

Titanic: I don’t give a shit.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

9/11 victims are the best readers.

They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.

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  • Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

    (everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

    (person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

    (all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.

    (Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(

    Roses are red, my toaster too,

    Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?