Disabled jokes

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.

What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?

They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.

What does Hellen Keller call her dog?

"NAUSHFBUYGWF"

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?

Steamed veggies!

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?

It has an extra crumb-osome.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"