A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
No, you!
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Yo mama!
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
you.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
