Disability jokes
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
I told a blind kid, "See you later!"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.