What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Disability Jokes
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
