Disability jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.