Disability jokes
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
I'm stumped.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!