My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Disability Jokes
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
