Disability jokes
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.