Disability jokes
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!