Disability jokes

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”

What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."