What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Disability Jokes
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
