Disability jokes

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?

Walking.

What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.