Disability jokes
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!