Disability jokes
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."