Disability jokes

Boy

  • What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

    I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

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    Shark

  • If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

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  • Girlfriend

  • What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

    Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

    Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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    Movie

  • Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."

    Man

  • Disabled man stands up.

    Blind man: “You can stand?”

    Deaf man: “You can see?”

    Mute man: “You can hear?”

    Disabled man: “You can talk?”

    Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”

    Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”

  • 2
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    Wheelchair

  • I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."

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    Assumption

  • Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

    Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

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