This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
Disability Jokes
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Helen Keller.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
