Disability jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"