Disability jokes
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.