Disability jokes
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.