Disability jokes
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.