What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
Disability Jokes
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
