Disability jokes
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.