Disability jokes
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
I'm stumped.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.