Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Disability Jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
People in wheelchairs need to stand up for themselves.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
