Disability jokes
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
He lost Wifi connection...
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.