Disability jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.