Disability jokes
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.