Disability jokes
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.