Disability jokes
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
Who is Helen Keller?