Disability jokes
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
He lost Wifi connection...
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?