Disability jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
He lost Wifi connection...
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.