Disability jokes
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.