Disability jokes

Cancer

There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.

Song

What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

Wheelchair

You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

Language

Why do you joke about Helen Keller?

She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!

Arab

Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.

Dog

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

School

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.

Man

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

Word

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

House

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

Dog

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

Helen Keller

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

'Cause she's a woman.

No, really. Why can't she drive?

Because she died.