Disability jokes
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
He lost Wifi connection...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.