Disability jokes
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
He lost Wifi connection...
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.