Disability jokes
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.