Disability jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)