Disability jokes
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.